I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
