At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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