Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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