Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
