halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
