every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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