what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
