I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
