Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
