Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize