now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
