No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
