His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
