ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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