During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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