Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
