I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
