He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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