What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
