ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
