Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
