Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
dude. I can hear the air.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
