I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Damn victory sex feels great
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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