if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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