wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
