we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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