I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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