i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
