Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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