I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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