O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think I sprained my soul last night
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I have fence marks all over my body
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
