i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
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