How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
