Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
