..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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