There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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