my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
