Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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