wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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