Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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