Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
