i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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