Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
