We're like a lot better than the average bears
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
