im drinking this country out of the recession.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
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So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
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I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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