ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
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I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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