I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
