we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
