Don't make out with my wife yet
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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