u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
