Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Panties = found
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