when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
