he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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