I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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