We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
