Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
