I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
