Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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