im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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